LIFE Posts - Focus on Forgivenes, part 3
Last week in our study about forgiveness we looked at the responsibility that we, as those whose sins have been forgiven by Jesus, have to forgive others. We considered the fact that while the first servant in the parable of the Unforgiving Servant was forgiven an inconceivably large debt compared to how much the second servant owed him, the second servant’s debt wasn’t trivial. We discussed the fact that forgiveness means that the one who forgives pays a cost. Forgiveness isn’t just saying, “I forgive you,” it means truly releasing the other person from their debt. This week, we look more into application of forgiveness – what forgiveness is and what it isn’t.
What forgiveness isn’t:
Let’s start with what forgiveness is not – or not necessarily. For one thing, forgiveness does not mean that the offense is minimized or trivialized. To forgive someone doesn’t mean that you have to say or believe that what the wrongdoer did was “no big deal” or “it didn’t hurt that bad” or anything that isn’t a true statement about what was done. It was a real hurt, one that caused real harm. The second servant’s debt was described as 100 denarii, which was 100 days of pay. Outside of the fabulously wealthy, 100 days of pay is a serious debt to be owed! Jesus didn’t use an example of a trivial debt (like a penny) that the second servant owed the first one, He made it clear that the debt (offense) was a real one. We can rest assured that anything done to us that we must forgive someone else for us understood by God to be a real hurt, a real offense, and a true cost that we have to choose to pay.
Next, giving forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. Reconciliation, or the restoration of a relationship that has been broken by an offense, can require more than a simple, “I’m sorry” from them. Restoration requires action from the offender – sincere repentance, offering of restitution (an attempt to make things right, if that is possible), and a demonstration of sincerity by consistent actions to re-establish trust in the relationship. Reconciliation can be extremely difficult, or it can be relatively easy, depending on the severity of the offense. The path of reconciliation requires us to remain on the narrow path, because the devil will want to play back old tapes, trigger traumatic memories, or similar to try to induce us to be re-offended. Remaining constantly in lockstep with the Holy Spirit is critically important during any process of reconciliation.
Finally, forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting what happened. We possibly may never forget what happened, especially if there are physical scars or other visible reminders of what happened. This too is why we need to walk by the Spirit and not our flesh, because the devil will attempt to take every reminder as an opportunity to sow bitterness and anger into our spirits. Such bitterness is a poison that the enemy revels in, because it cascades into not just the life of the person who was hurt, but also into the lives of everyone they interact with.
What forgiveness is:
In the New Testament, the Greek word aphesis is translated as forgiveness (i.e., in Ephesians 1:7). Louw Nida defines aphesis as:
“To remove the guilt resulting from wrongdoing—‘to pardon, to forgive, forgiveness.’… It is extremely important to note that the focus in the meanings of [forgiveness] is upon the guilt of the wrongdoer and not upon the wrongdoing itself. The event of wrongdoing is not undone, but the guilt resulting from such an event is pardoned. To forgive, therefore, means essentially to remove the guilt resulting from wrongdoing.”[1]
In essence, forgiveness is a choice – the choice of a person harmed to release their wrongdoer by not hanging on to the offense. Critically, forgiveness doesn’t require anything from the wrongdoer – it is solely a choice the person who was hurt has to make. This choice can be difficult, especially if we allow feelings to cloud our thinking. The devil wants people who have been hurt to feel that the wrongdoer shouldn’t be forgiven because they’ll get off “scot-free” – which our emotions declare isn’t fair. The truth, however, is when a person who has been hurt forgives the one who did them wrong, they’re not “freeing” the other person, they’re choosing to be free themselves.
Holding on to unforgiveness to get back at the other person only harms the person who was the victim of wrongdoing, not helps them. It has been said that choosing to not forgive someone is like drinking poison hoping that the other person dies – it doesn’t work. Unforgiveness should have a warning label declaring how deadly a poison it is.
Unforgiveness operates as a spiritual toxin that damages the soul (mind, will, and emotions) of the person who was hurt and is choosing not to forgive. It keeps the “hurt alive” because the wound remains fresh in the person’s mind, constantly stirring up emotions of pain, anger, and resentment. Ongoing pain, anger, and resentment lead to bitterness in a person’s soul and spirit. Hebrews 12:15 warns against bitterness because it operates as a contagion – “by it [bitterness] many [are] defiled.” We’ve all been around bitter, angry, and cynical people – how often does their attitude spread amongst those they’re around? Paul warns in Ephesians 4:26-27 against holding on to anger, because doing so gives the devil an opportunity to operate in your life.
When we choose to forgive the other person from our heart as Jesus instructs in Matthew 18:35, we are freed from bitterness and the prison of unforgiveness that the devil wants us to lock ourselves into. He loves to stir up our emotions, so here are a list of a few examples of lies he may whisper when we’re faced with the choice to forgive, trying to convince us that we “will forgive” but only after certain prerequisites have been met:
- That person deserves to pay – and pay more!
- You didn’t do anything wrong to them, and they hurt you – how can you let them off?
- You need to get justice!
- They need to hurt as bad as they hurt you!
Jesus’ Word is where we need to go every time that the devil is running amuck in our mind and emotions. Jesus Himself, when tempted in the wilderness by the devil, countered every thought the devil brought with the Word of God. We’ve already seen that Jesus tells us to forgive from the heart, recognizing that the debt of sin that God has forgiven us from is infinitely greater than any harm someone has done to us – no matter how grievous. Other Biblical instruction to counter thoughts of retribution or revenge that the devil often brings:
Romans 12:17–21 (NLT) 12:17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 12:18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. 12:19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. 12:20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” 12:21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. [2]
Matthew 5:38–48 (NLT) 5:38 “You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ 5:39 But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. 5:40 If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. 5:41 If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. 5:42 Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow. 5:43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 5:44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 5:45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 5:46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 5:47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 5:48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. [3]
1 Peter 3:9 (NLT) 3:9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. [4]
1 Peter 2:23 (NLT) 2:23 He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. [5]
Again, we must realize that if we try to live out the instructions given to us in the Word in our own strength, we will fail. To live out the Word, we must abide in Jesus and walk by His Holy Spirit. This submission is what enables us to live victoriously and free. This victorious freedom will allow us to walk/remain in joy even if we're reminded by wrongdoing done to us, because the reminder doesn't bring back pain of the offense but instead reminds of the release and healing we have in Jesus.
Application/Questions/Journal your thoughts
- In Matthew 5:44, Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Certainly, someone who has hurt us is acting like an enemy, whether they did the harm intentionally or not. If we overlay the 1 Corinthians 13 discussion of what love is with the command to love our enemies (those who have done us wrong), we come face to face with what our choice to forgive costs – and what it should look like. The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant tells us that this isn’t optional, we’re commanded to forgive. Spend some time in prayer and conversation with the Holy Spirit, asking for understanding about how to apply love’s patience, kindness, humility, selflessness, emotional control, and refusal to “keep track” of wrongs with those who have hurt you. Journal what He reveals to your heart. Share with a brother or sister in Christ.
- This topic of forgiveness illuminates how the narrow path is exactly how Jesus described it, “the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult.” (Matthew 7:14 NLT). Sin causes wounds, and those who have been wounded are genuinely injured. Facing those wounds and deciding to truly forgive the wrongdoer requires strength that isn’t natural or human. Christians are empowered by a strength that isn’t their own, and by the Holy Spirit living in us, we can release those who have wronged us by truly forgiving them. The devil tells someone who has been wounded that they’re too hurt to forgive the other person, that the pain and heaviness cannot be allowed to get any greater. Consider Jesus’ message in Matthew 11:28-30:
Matthew 11:28–30 (NASB95) 11:28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 11:29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 11:30 “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” [6]
- Above, Jesus is talking to people who are weary and carrying a heavy load – don’t those who have been wounded and hurt and are struggling with forgiving the other person match such a condition? Jesus says to those people to take His yoke upon them – which the devil will scream is even more weight to carry. But recall that a yoke links two oxen together, and Jesus is inviting us to link ourselves to Him. He then says to learn from Him. We have His example in the Bible, which instructs us not only on how to forgive, but of the magnitude of His love for us. Spend time in prayer and contemplation on this scripture and ask the Holy Spirit for revelation about any burden you may be carrying. If there’s anyone who you are harboring unforgiveness towards, bring that burden to Him and submit it to Him. By His strength you can be freed by releasing true forgiveness towards that person. As the Holy Spirit for an opportunity to share with another person – you will find that your own spirit will be encouraged sharing your walk of forgiveness, as well as how God will use your testimony to encourage another person to release forgiveness and be freed themselves.
Scripture of the week
Romans 12:14 (NASB 2020) 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. [7]
Psalm 37:1–9 (NASB 2020) 37:1 Do not get upset because of evildoers, Do not be envious of wrongdoers. 37:2 For they will wither quickly like the grass, And decay like the green plants. 37:3 Trust in the Lord and do good; Live in the land and cultivate faithfulness. 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. 37:6 He will bring out your righteousness as the light, And your judgment as the noonday. 37:7 Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not get upset because of one who is successful in his way, Because of the person who carries out wicked schemes. 37:8 Cease from anger and abandon wrath; Do not get upset; it leads only to evildoing. 37:9 For evildoers will be eliminated, But those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land. [8]
Galatians 5:22–23 (NASB 2020) 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 5:23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. [9]
John 15:5 (NASB 2020) 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches; the one who remains in Me, and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. [10]
Weekly prayer
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for Your Holy Spirit living in me – and thank You for the forgiveness You’ve poured out upon me. I choose today to walk by Your Holy Spirit, and release anyone who I have harbored unforgiveness towards by truly forgiving them. Thank You for Your power to do this. I repent of any lie of the enemy that I have believed and lay down any thoughts of vengeance that I may have had. Lord, I pray that You bless those who have harmed me, so that they may come to You and a place of repentance. I know that I can do this only by Your Spirit in me, and praise You for Your glorious grace, mercy, and love. Amen.
Freedom Facet
There’s tremendous freedom in forgiveness; the greatest freedom is the forgiveness of our sins that we receive when we come to accept Jesus as our Savior. There’s also tremendous freedom in forgiving others, because we find that the one who is released isn’t them, but ourselves. The one who refuses to forgive remains imprisoned by the offense done to them, while the one who forgives breaks free. This can only be done through the indwelling and power of the Holy Spirit – Who praise the Lord is ready to provide that power to those who surrender themselves to Him.
Jesus's Freedom is for those who call Him Lord - those who believe in Him. If you’ve not yet accepted Christ Jesus as Your Lord, and would like to, say the following prayer aloud.
Lord Jesus, I confess and realize that I am a sinner, and without You, I am lost and separated from God. Thank You for going to the cross and dying for my sins – I ask for Your forgiveness for my sins, and I thank you and receive the forgiveness of my sins Your Word says is now mine! Holy Spirit, I thank You that You now reside within me. I lay down my will for Yours and ask for Your daily guidance and direction to make me more and more like You. Amen!
The Bible tells us that if we confess Jesus as Lord with our mouth and believe in our hearts that God resurrected Jesus from the dead, we are saved for eternity. If you’ve just accepted Jesus as Lord, know that heaven is celebrating right now (Luke 15:10)! Rejoice because you are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), and now have begun the process of sanctification becoming like Him. Keep coming back, as we explore Freedom facets and what our Identity in Christ truly is. Share this joyous news with a brother or sister in Christ and get connected in your local church! LIFE is yours!
Small Group Invitations - Week of August 23, 2026
Below are invitations to just a couple of Men's Small Groups that are happening this week, both a part of Celebration Church, Georgetown, Texas. If these don't work for you, or if you're not a Celebration Church, TX attendee - regardless of the church you attend - being a part of small group is immensely important! If you're not involved in one, I pray that you find one that works for your schedule and you get plugged in. Being connected in the local church will bless you immeasurably!
Tuesday Morning Men's Fellowship Group: 6am - 7am at Rudy's BBQ in Round Rock, Texas. Join us for a time of fellowship where we'll discuss the message from the Pastors on Sunday, the newsletter contents, or whatever is going on in the lives of the brothers meeting.
Friday Morning Celebration Men: We're in between on-campus semesters until September, so we're back to meeting at Rudy's BBQ in Round Rock, TX. Join us at 6:30 am for fellowship and discussion about God's Word. We'll conclude at 8am so people can get to work.
[1] Louw, Johannes P., and Eugene Albert Nida. 1996. In Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains, electronic ed. of the 2nd edition., 1:502. New York: United Bible Societies.
[2] Tyndale House Publishers. 2015. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
[3] Tyndale House Publishers. 2015. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
[4] Tyndale House Publishers. 2015. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
[5] Tyndale House Publishers. 2015. Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
[6] New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update. 1995. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.
[7] New American Standard Bible. 2020. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.
[8] New American Standard Bible. 2020. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.
[9] New American Standard Bible. 2020. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.
[10] New American Standard Bible. 2020. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.